This is The News

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Issue number 19
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A selection of unintentional news stories.

Jackie Coogan's fame was genuinely world-wide - he was hero-worshipped by kids in Soviet Russia, and on one occasion had an audience with the Pope - and it lasted for over a decade.

The Secretary of Defense said yesterday: 'I have never heard the rumble of a distant drum, even with both ears to the ground.'

Recent animals at the Grand Hotel include Mr and Mrs Hayes.

It is reported from Bedfordshire that the Foreign Secretary, who is undergoing treatment, has had a less restful night. Swine fever has broken out.

OTTAWA - The Canadian Government invited five US oil company executives to Ottawa, Wednesday, gave them lunch and discussed prospects for a cross-Canada pipeline for crêpes suzettes.

At Frome yesterday Mrs Jennifer Ann Green of Kean Street, Frome, was placed on probation for three years for stealing the Gas Board.

LIVESTOCK FOR SALE - Pedigree Mare, in perfect condition, hard body, fold away base. What offers?

The manufacturers of this sock MUST be washed in LUKE-WARM water, NOT HOT, and well rinsed to remove soap.

The Headlines again:

Air Head Fired

Prosecution Releases Probe Into Magistrate

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Man Steals Clock, Faces Time

Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty

Alzheimer's Centre Prepares For Affair To Remember

Arson Suspect Is Held in London Fire

Man Shot In The Ardoyne Area

Everything you don't need to know about Christmas. Return to the top of the page. Return to the front cover. This month's postbag.
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