This is The News

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Issue number 24
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A selection of unintentional news stories.

Villagers in Crawshawbooth should not be alarmed when their clock disappears in the coming days. The village landmark will be taken down when Crawshawbooth Environment Group finds a long enough ladder, and repaired if nearby silversmith Whiting and Wilson thinks it can be.
Dorothy Farrington, volunteer, said: 'The silversmith said he would be very interested in trying to restore it. We have got permission to take it down now, so it is just a case of him having a look and giving us a whistle to see what's what.'

Magistrates may act on indecent shows.

The rich man's motor may sow the seed of the class war, but the landlord's horse yielded the milk of human kindness.

Billions of ants from Italy, France, Spain and Portugal have united to wage war against a smaller, separatist colony in eastern Spain that refuses to be assimilated into their supercolony.

Correction: The address for iANSYST Ltd should have been www.dyslexic.com

The Headlines again:

Immigrants threaten to 'outnumber Italians'

Saints to issue shares to repay £1m debt

Man disappoints

Boy gets thumb stuck in can

Rabbit levels building again

Horse floats for disabled

Pig promises to change the future

Everything you don't need to know about May Day. Return to the top of the page. Return to the front cover. A selection from the postbag.
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