Buyer Beware!

There have been few online shopping sites that have been anything like as successful as the auctions service provided by ebay. Many and varied are the bargains to be had through ebay auctions, however you must also take care, as not everything you find might be the bargain it first appears.

What follows is just a selection of the items which have recently been offered for sale (and indeed even had willing buyers) on ebay. Please note though that these are all from ebay.co.uk, and we can't blame the gullability of foreigners for these!

Note that the poor use of spelling and punctuation is the fault of the perpetrators of these listings.

Click on any of the items to get the full description.


Hideous French Pottery Ceramic Wine Decanter Set
Starting price: 0.99; postage: not listed; Final price: not sold.

Original Invisible 100.00 note
Starting price: not recorded; postage: not recorded; Final price: not sold.

Invisible Friend Named timmy
Starting price: 0.54 (Buy it Now: 1.00); postage: 0.50; Final price: not sold.

AIR GUITAR + FREE AIR AMP - BRAND NEW
Starting price: 0.99; postage: 1.00; Final price: not sold.

21 used / empty cans. mainly dr pepper, some are lilt
Starting price: 0.99; postage: 6.00; Final price: not sold.

EMPTY COLLECTABLE COCA COLA BOTTLE
Starting price: 0.99; postage: 4.00; Final price: not sold.

LORD OR LADY OF SEALAND ROYAL TITLE GREAT GIFT
Starting price: 29.95; postage: 2.99; Final price: ??.

DONNER KEBAB
Starting price: 0.50; postage: 1.00; Final price: not sold.

FART IN A BOTTLE! BUILD UP OF REAL FARTS!!
Starting price: 0.10; postage: 1.00; Final price: 0.79.

THIN AIR AUCTION - OH MY GOD!!
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 1000.00; Final price: not sold.

ONE UNUSED CHEESY QUAVER
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 0.40; Final price: 0.01.

bzyfjjjfxcjxjyf poo
Starting price: 10,000.00; postage: cash on collection; Final price: not sold.

Invisible Elephant
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 0.31; Final price: 1.40.

Heart Shaped Crisp. Weird, Romantic, Valentine
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 1.00; Final price: 0.01.

winnie poo and pigleg highchair
Starting price: 10.00; postage: 12.00; Final price: 18.00.

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Hideous French Pottery Ceramic Wine Decanter Set
Starting price: 0.99; postage: not listed; Final price: not sold.

This set can ONLY be decribed as HIDEOUS. There is no signature manufacturer on the bottom because no-one in their right mind would own up to producing this terrible wine decanter set.

Finished in very tasteful green and red (NOT!) and complete with wrought wire holder, this is a gift that only the blind could appreciate.

It came, as a gift, from France in the late '70's. Only the need to be polite made it possible to have these items on display. Now that the kids have grown up and we are no longer billeting the kids from the French family who gave it to us, we can get rid of it. It has sat in the loft for many years and I/We are happy to get rid of it. I am sure there can't be many of these around and to those who know what is what, I am sure it will be of value. One cup has a small chip at the bottom, but the condition is pretty good overall.

PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO BID. ONLY MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE EBAY WORLD WILL BE AWARE OF YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE!

As one Ebayer messaged to me, "you could always give it to your worst enemy!" - True words for those of you who have such people in your lives. Go on, do something silly to day and bid!


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Original Invisible 100.00 note
Starting price: not recorded; postage: not recorded; Final price: not sold.

A must for all collectors of notes.

This is an original "Invisible" 100.00 note.

First to see will buy


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Invisible Friend Named timmy
Starting price: 0.54 (Buy it Now: 1.00); postage: 0.50; Final price: not sold.

Timmy the retired pirate

Description: blonde hair, blue eyes, 6'2", large brown mole, wooden leg, eye patch and parrot.

Personality: likes to think he looks like johnny depp-only hotter, loves to shout to YARR ME MATEY! to any one he likes, sailing the seven seas.

Why im selling you ask?

has been a friend for many a year, however he fells trapped on land and doesnt like the look of all the white hairy hairy grass eating demons here in wales i.e. sheep. would be a great companion for anyone who likes a tipple of rum and walking the plank.

get him quick before he makes a break for the dover!!!!!


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AIR GUITAR + FREE AIR AMP - BRAND NEW
Starting price: 0.99; postage: 1.00; Final price: not sold.

You are bidding on a brand new limited edition air guitar

This will also come with a top of the range air amp

As you can see me playing in the picture, this is very easy to pick up and play, no lessons required!

Free postage as it will arrive by air mail

Absolute bargain, so buy one!


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21 used / empty cans. mainly dr pepper, some are lilt
Starting price: 0.99; postage: 6.00; Final price: not sold.

well, i drink an obscene amount of dr pepper, so for a week or 3 i have collected up all my cans (and my boyfriends cans of lilt) for your emjoyment.

maybe u like shooting things at cans,

maybe you want some funky flower pots,

maybe u like to recycle

or maybe, just maybe,

you want to clone me and my boyfriend from the dna we've left behind.

its really up to you,

but at this low low starting price of just 99p, you really cant go wrong.

most are dr pepper, some are dr pepper Z (i dont care what they say, you CAN tell the difference) and some are lilt and lilt Z. but the one thing they all have in commom is they are all used!


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EMPTY COLLECTABLE COCA COLA BOTTLE
Starting price: 0.99; postage: 4.00; Final price: not sold.

EMPTY COLLECTABLE COLA BOTTLE SEE THROUGH MADE OF GLASS


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LORD OR LADY OF SEALAND ROYAL TITLE GREAT GIFT
Starting price: 29.95; postage: 2.99; Final price: ??.

Do you sometimes get the feeling you were destined for greatness? Would you like people to give you a little more respect? How would you like to join the ranks of the privileged few?

No longer do you have to be content being Mr. or Mrs. Average. Now, you can join the silver spoon club without resorting to marriage or inheritance.

Our special pack entitles will give your social status a bit of clout.


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DONNER KEBAB
Starting price: 0.50; postage: 1.00; Final price: not sold.

THE OTHER HALF OF THIS VERY LARGE KEBEB,couldnt eat it all,very tasty,its a monster


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FART IN A BOTTLE! BUILD UP OF REAL FARTS!!
Starting price: 0.10; postage: 1.00; Final price: 0.79.

this auction is a genuine auction, it is a bottle of collected farts over the christmas and january period. i feel the bottle has no more capacity for any more farts. still to this day i have not had a wiff inside the bottle and was very tempted,but i thought id save the experience for somebody else. this is genuine and i can promise you there is real methane gas in there from xmas. the winning bidder should either keep it for generations to come or open it and take a good old sniff.

happy bidding and good luck!!


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THIN AIR AUCTION - OH MY GOD!!
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 1000.00; Final price: not sold.

OH MY GOD!

A CONTAINER OF REAL THIN AIR!!

NO NOT YOUR COMMON OLD THICK AIR, OR HOT AIR MUCK, BUT THE GENUINE ARTICAL, THE REAL MCCOY, THE DONKEY'S GONADS OF GREAT BRITISH AIR! WOULD HAVE TAKEN A PHOTO OF IT TO PLACE IN THE AUCTION, BUT JUST A TAD DIFFICULT TO DO, SORRY. MADE ESPECIALLY FOR AIR-HEADS - OH MY GOD!!

PLEASE SEE MY NEXT EXCITING AUCTION FOR A POT OF GENUINE ANTIQUE ELBOW GREASE - MADE FROM 100% REAL ELBOWS!!!

OHHH MYYY GODDD!!


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ONE UNUSED CHEESY QUAVER
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 0.40; Final price: 0.01.

ARE YOU FEELING A LITTLE BIT PEKISH?

HAVE THIS CHEESY SNACK DELIVERED DIRECT TO YOUR DOOR OR WORK PLACE

I THINK THIS IS THE CHEESIEST QUAVER EVER!(THE MICE TOLD ME)

YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE JEALOUS, YOU WILL BE THE TALK OF THE TOWN!

PLEASE BID WITH CONFIDENCE, THE QUAVER WILL BE SENT IN DISCREET PACKAGING.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL ME.

THIS IS A GENUINE AUCTION

HAPPY BIDDING

Seller's payment instructions I WOULD PREFER PAYPAL BUT I AM WILLING TO ACCEPT MAGIC BEANS, SUNFLOWER SEEDS, OR QUALITY VACUUM CLEANER DUST


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bzyfjjjfxcjxjyf poo
Starting price: 10,000.00; postage: cash on collection; Final price: not sold.

mxcbfgg ger er bgeuia pnt hern as


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Invisible Elephant
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 0.31; Final price: 1.40.

Invisible Elephant (1) for sale. Absolutely must be sold and bidding starts at a penny. Comes with C.O.A. ~ reason for sale - it's eating me out of house and home. No dealers.


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Heart Shaped Crisp. Weird, Romantic, Valentine
Starting price: 0.01; postage: 1.00; Final price: 0.01.

On offer is a genuine crisp that is formed in the shape of a heart

Brand - Walkers

Flavour - Salt & Vinegar

Sick of buying the same old flowers and chocolates for your other half?

Why not make her day with this romantic gesture.

Make the loved one in your life scream with excitement with this great gift. Or just keep it for yourself.

Size approx 6cm tall by 5cm wide


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winnie poo and pigleg highchair
Starting price: 10.00; postage: 12.00; Final price: 18.00.

wooden highchair with cream seating, with winnie the poo and piglet on it, it is from mothercare, very good condition and clean, just a few scratches on the legs, adjustable harness to keep little one safe, it is for babys 6 months +.payed 65 for it about 18months ago.


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