This is The News

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Issue number 22
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A selection of unintentional news stories.

End of Today is signal
for no tomorrow

The commanding officer of a Royal Navy Trident ballistic missile submarine on patrol has to apply the 'BBC Radio Today test' before deciding whether to fire his strategic nuclear weapons, according to a new book. If the BBC Radio programme has been off the air for several days, the commanding officer will know a nuclear attack on Britain has taken place and he is authorised to launch his missiles, Peter Hennessy, author of The Secret State, reveals.

Would any friendly older couple with hours to spare like to help bury family in house and garden?

Charity worker of the month is Dolly Neff, head of the West Texas Food Bank in Odessa for 16 years. She stood on a chair and screamed at the free food recipients to show more gratitude for what they were receiving. Dolly has now resigned.

Course offered by Kensington and Chelsea College: 'English as a foreign language.'

The Headlines again:

120 corpses abandoned at crematorium

Has prison made Archer the new Shakespeare?

Boss need not be paid

Oil minnow goes for float

Mandelson inquiry will be inconclusive

Beckett calls crisis a small triumph for government

Messiah returns

Everything you don't need to know about Rabbits and Hares. Return to the top of the page. Return to the front cover. A selection from the postbag.
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