Postbag

Dear Odd Gonk Shine,

I have just re-read your letter on the subject of female arse fondling and wondered whether or not you found an arse fondling female to meet your needs. As an arse fondling female I have particular interest in this matter and would like to offer my services to you to give you a feel for it, so to speak.

I have spoken to my fellow arse fondling females and we offer good rates and special offers to first timers, if you are interested in this prospect please don't hesitate to let me know, a little fondling can be spread a long way, which is generally messy but great fun.

I understand that you have put am imbargo on female arse fondling but please don't do this to your audience of arse fondling females, there is a huge difference between us and it would be a big disappointment to us all.

I look forward to hearing from you on this subject and will make you the special cut price rate of first fondle free!! This offer will not be repeated and is made for you alone.

Sleep well and clean up after yourself :0)

SW responds:

Whilst I appreciate your offer, we have no need of female arse fondlers at this publication. We have no intention of including female arse fondling in this publication, now or ever.

Should any of our readers have any desire to contact Female Arse Fondler, send your letters to .