It's in the Stars
Your monthly astrology report

by Psychic Psue Horological Harry

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Issue number 11
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Unfortunately, due to unforseen circumstances, Psychic Psue was unavailable this month, so for your stars we've had to rely on the alternative zodiac of Horological Harry. Quite frankly we think he's made it up as he's gone along, unlike the truly accurate predictions we get from Psue.

Senarius
(Jan 1-Feb 24 except Tuesdays and Saturdays)
Time brings great things if you will only let it. The powers of fate can only be wondered at.
Nauplius
(Every third Saturday in the month)
Trust to your inner voices and nothing will prevent you from achieving anything as long as you keep one step ahead of the men in white coats.
Sartorius
(Every other Tuesday)
Travelling can bring wonders to behold, as you find different civilisations just round every corner.
Celsius
(Feb 25-Apr 30 unless it's a leap year, when it's Feb 26-April 31 [not counting any dates already covered])
Bring some peace into your family's life this month by leaving home.
Splenius
(May, Jun & Jul [except for dates covered by Nauplius and Sartorius])
Count your blessings, then add 14. Multiply by 7, divide by 3 and a half. Take away the number you first thought of.
Stella
(Aug 14 [in precedence to Nauplius and Sartorius])
It's a beautiful day today.
Artoisius
(That bit of the year when it ought to be winter, it's that cold, but you keep being told off because winter doesn't really start till late December)
Look, stuff just happens, OK?
Wolverhampton
(Any other date not covered above)
Confusion reigns supreme as you try to follow what at first appears to be simple guidelines, only to find that there are inherent contradictions.
A selection of readers' letters. Return to the top of the page. Return to the front cover. Don't quote me on this...
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